Tuesday, 24 January 2012

MUST READ....
One man was an engineer, the second man was an accountant, the third man was a chemist, and the fourth was a government worker.
To show off, the engineer called to his dog. “T-square,do your stuff.” T-square trotted over to a desk, tookout some paper and a pen, and promptly drew a circle,a square, and a triangle.
Everyone agreed that that that was pretty smart.
The accountant said that his dog could do better. He called to his dog and said,”Spreadshe et, do your stuff.” Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies.He divided them into four equal piles of three cookies each.
Everyone agreed that that was good.
The chemist said that his dog could do better still.he called to his dog and said, “Measure, do your stuff.” Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took outa quart of milk, got a ten-ounce glass from the cupboard, and poured exactly eight ounces without spilling a drop.
Everyone agreed that that was pretty impressive.
Then the three men turnedto the government worker and said, “What can your dog do?”
The government worker called to his dog and said, “Coffee Break, do your stuff.” Coffee Break jumpedto his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, claimed he had injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for worker’ compensation, andwent home for the rest of the day on sick leave...
They all agreed that that was brilliant..
WHERE YOUR PEN GOES WHEN YOU DROP IT:
3%- Right where you dropped it...
5%- 3 feet away...
92%- Into another dimension never to be seen again...:(
AATI KYA KHANDALA song in various
Indian languages :
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HINDI :
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AKya Bolti Tu ?
A Kya Mai Bolu ?
Sun
Suna
Ati Kya Khandala ?
Kya karu Ake mai Khandala?
Are Ghumenge, nachenge, gayenge
Aish karenge or kya
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URDU - Best :
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AAP KUCH BOLEIN?
HUM KYA BOLEIN??
MULAIZA FARMAYEIN
IRSHAD
TASHREEF LAYEINGI KHANDALA?
KYA KAREIN HUM KHANDALA
TASHREEF LAAKE??
ARRE GHOOMEINGE, NAACHEINGE,
NAGMEIN SUNAYEINGE,TAFR EE
KAREINGE OR KYA!!
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ENGLISH :
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Ayewhat do you say?
Aye what should I say?
Listen.
Speakon.
Coming to khandala?
What should I do, coming to
khandala?
We'll roam, we'll loaf, we'll sing, we'll
dance we" ll
freak, baby,what else?
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SANSKRIT - This is too good:
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Aye balike, twam katham kathisyasi
Aye balakah aham kim kathisyamh
Shrinvasi!
Shrunha
Kimtwam khandaalaa agchasyasi
Aham kim kurwasyami khandaalayeh
gamisyami, bhramisyami, nryuthyami,
School life was Awesome
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Homework copy karte time.
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"Oye ye kya likha h"
"Jo word samajh aa raha ha
wo likh, jo nahi uska waisa
hi design bana de..!" O.o
Ek baar Engg. College ke saare professors ko ek plane me bithaya gaya...
Baad me jab unhe pata chala ki ye plane unke students ne banaya hai
toh sab ke sab wahan se bhaag gaye...
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Lekin College ka dean plane me baitha raha...
ve bole mujhe apne students par poora bharosa hai...0.o
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Plane Start hi nahi hoga :)
'Statement' of boys, when they remain "unsuccessful" in making girlfriends in College.. 

1st sem: Meri to pehle se hai...

2nd sem: Chalo try karenge...

3rd sem: Apne batch me koi dhang ki nahi hai...

4th sem: Juniors bhi dhang ki nahi hai...

5th sem: Bhai kisise intro to kara...

6th sem: Koi bhi chalegi.

7th sem: Mere paas time nahi tha varna...

And Finally. . .
With Full Attitude...
8th sem: Dekha puri degree ho gayi par aaj tak kisiko
bhaav nahi diya... :p :p
Remake of Movie GHULAAAM in Tamil
"Rajnikanth as Hero running towards train
5 meters Left
4 meters Left
3 Meters Left
2 meters Left
1 meter Left
Train jumps on the Other Track" :D :p
Yanna Rascala !!! Mind It... ;) :p
Ye Dost bhi Ajeeb Hote Hai..!
Saale Dene pe Aaye to Jaan de de, 
aur Lene pe aye to Hasi tak Chheen Lete hai,

Kehna Ho To Dil k Kono k Tamam Raaz bol de,
par Chhupane pe Aaye to ye tak na Bataye Akhir khafa kyu hai..! 

Naraz Ho Jaye to KAMINE Saans tak na Lene de,
Par Manaye to Apni Sanso tak ko wo Waar De..

Shayad kisi ne sahi kaha he ki DOSTI ZINDGI me nahi,
balki ZINDAGI DOSTO me milti hai...
Mind It...
Doctors after operations & 12th B ke Students after exams, have same things to say-
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"Kuch kaha nahi jaa sakta.. dua kartey rahien, shayad koi chamatkar ho jaye" :p
Brilliant Words From Hitler: 

"The Amount of Money That is in Ur Bank at the Time of Death, 
is the Extra Work U did Which Wasn't Necessary!!!
If you feel a bit lonely Or u want someone to cheer you up.... 
Always remember...
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That u can change ur birthday on Facebook.... :D
Finally
we broke up:(
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Me and my
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Books
its too much now...there was no understanding between us...
Why do ENGINEERING students always prefer Local Author books than REFERENCE books..??

The local author says- "Jack & Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after"

& REFERENCE BOOK says,

“ 2 humans ascended a certain geological protuberance to collect hydride of oxygen whose quantity is not specified.

One member Jack of rapid irregular disturbing movements encounter fatal logical gravitational error leading to complete disarray!

Other member whose scope lies within disarray descends down the geographical
protuberance at an acceleration,

whose magnitude is controlled by the force of gravity"! :p :D
The biggest prob of the world is:
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The fools r full of confidence nd intelligent's r full of doubts.
Chotte is in a Quiz Contest trying to win prize money of Rs.1 crore.

The questions are as follows:

1) How long was the 100 yr war?

i) 116
ii) 75
iii) 100
iv) 159

Chotte says "I will skip this" :P

2) In which country are the Panama hats made..??

i) England
ii) France
iii) Panama
iv) Ecuador

Chotte asks for help from the University students

3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

i) March
ii) October
iii) February
iv) November

Chotte asks for help from Audience Poll

4) Which of these was King George VI first name?

i) Elder
ii) Albert
iii) Manuel
iv) George

Chotte asks for lucky cards

5) The Canary islands, in the Pacific Ocean, has its name based on which animal:

i) Puppy
ii) Lion
iii) Canary bird
iv) Cat

Chotte gives up :D :D

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If you think you are indeed clever and laughed at Chotte's replies, then please check the answers below:

1) The 100 year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453.

2) The Panama hat is made in Ecuador.

3) The October revolution is celebrated in November.

4) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 he changed his name.

5) Puppy. The Latin name is INSULARIA CANARIA which means islands of the
puppies.

Moral: Badnaam na karo yaar Chotte ko :P :D Chotte Rocks

Wednesday, 18 January 2012

Its not about who is real to your face, but who stays real behind your back!!!
Don't be confused between my personality & my attitude.
My personality is who I am
My attitude depends on who You are....
British-Which is ur Favorite
Flower?
Ramu-Lotus
British-I clean my Hips wid
it.
Shyamu-Rose
British-I Clean my Hips wid
it.
Chhote-Cactus!!!
Ab saaf kar saale Hmse na behas
krna saale ;)
Chhote Rocks :D
Gr8 men get noticed when they fail 
And
Ordinary when they succeed. :)
Point to be noticed 
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"Lemon Juices Are Made From Artificial Flavours.
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&
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Dish Washing Liquids With Real Lemons..."@Vim liquid ad
Facebook Status Difference
Girl’s Facebook Status : Traveled
In A Bus After Such A Long Time.
Comments -
Awwwww..Muah..
May Be Next Time We BothCan
Go Together Sweetie.
You Went Without Me?
Wow! I Also Wanna Experience It
Once.
You Must Be Tired Na Honey?
Boy’s Facebook Status : Traveled
In A Bus After Such A Long Time.
Comments -
Haan To Saale Usme Hum Kya
Kare?
Bas Yehi Aukaat Hai Teri.
Saale Ab Tu Rickshaw Me Jayega
To Bhi Status Rakhega?
Abe Baap Ko Bole Ek Cycle To
Dila De Kam Se Kam.
:P
An Old farmer lived on his farm... One day he wrote to his innocent son in jail "Son, tis year i wont be able to plant potatoes coz i am too old to dig the ground..i know if u were here u wud hv helped me"
... Son replied, "U idiot! r u mad?Dont dig d ground..Tats where i buried al d guns"
The next day ground was dug by policemen looking for guns bt nothing was found.
Son wrote again.
"plant your potatoes now dad.This is the best i could do from here..I love you":)
RECEIPE-
1:Take a bowl of Grapes.

2:Keep it in your hand.

3:Stand in Front of Mirror. The Dish is
Ready.

RECEIPE'S NAME- Langur ke haath mein Angur. :P
Kanjus 3 year Child ko Basket me chupa k Film dekhne le gye
Ticket Man: Isme kya hai?
Kanjus: Lunch hai
Ticket Man: Bach k Saab niche daal gir rhi hai
:P

Hoping u got it hahahaha.......ultimate:)
Rajnikanth & Superman Once Had A Fight...
Loser Had To Wear His Underwear ON His Pants!!!
Life is just like the sea, we r moving without end. What stays is just Memories of some people who have Touched us as WAVES!
Factology:
When a person cries and the first drop of tears comes from the right eye, it’s happiness. But when the first roll is from the left, it's pain.
3 simple tips to play the Game of Life :
• Don't promise when u are happy...
• Don't reply when u are angry...
• Don't decide when u are sad...
People now-a-days are like bluetooth... if you stay close they stay connected...and if u go away they find new devices..
So true. .!!:B-)
DIMAG HAI TO MSG SIRF 1 BAR PADH KE JAWAB DO
1
+
5
+
3
-
2
+
8
+
6
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5
+
8
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6
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14
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4
+
5
HMMM,TO SAWAL YE HAI KI "BHAJIYA" KO ANGREZI ME KYA BOLTE HAI?

Monday, 16 January 2012

BRILLIANT LINES BY SIR
M.VISVESVARAYA (1st Engg.
Of India):
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If U Cant Create Ur Own
Answers In Examination,
Then Engineering
Is Not For U.... :P
"AJEEB HAI NA"
Rs.20 Ka NOTE Bahot ZYADALagta Hai Jab GARIB Ko Dena Ho, Magar HOTEL MeinTIP Dena Ho To Bahot KAM Lagta Hai.
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3_Minute Ke Liye BHAGWANKo YAAD Karna Kitna MUSHKIL Hai,
Magar 3_Hours Ka FILM Dekhna AASAAN.
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Pure Din MEHNAT Ke Baad GYM Jaane Se Nehi THAKTE, Magar Jab MAA-BAAP Ke PAIR DABANA Ho To HUM THAK Jaate Hain.
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VALENTINE's DAY Ke Liye HUM Puure SAAL Intezar Karte Hai, Magar MOTHER's DAY Kab Hai hume Pata Hi Nahi.
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Is MSG Ko FORWARD Karna Bahut MUSHKIL Hoga,Jabki FIZOOL Ke JOKE's Ko FORWARD Karna HUMARA FARZ Ban jata Hai.
AJEEB HAI NA
UPDESH......
* Kisi dost ki Ladai ho jaaye
aur dushman zyaada ho to
apne dost ko hi peet do ;-)
* Agr kisi ka kuch nahi
bigaar sakte to uspe thook
phenk ke bhaag jao... :D
* kabhi apne dost pe bharosa
na karo,
agar wo bharose ke kabil
hota to kisi
ache insaan ka dost hota.;-)
* Sher sirf apne ghar ke
saamne banke ghumo.. :P
* Hamesha mashwara lo
magar do nahi
warna beijjati hi hogi... :D
Ek baar 1 admi ko raste mein patthar mila,
Us pr likha tha "Patthar ko Palat lo kuch ban jaoge"
Jaise hi usne plta dusri tarf likha tha
"Ban Gaye na ch***ya"<bevkoof> :) :p
3 contractors were bidding to fix a fence at white
house. Each from india, japan, china.
Japanese said 900$, chinese said 700$. Indian
whispered in the ear of officer"2700$ !!"The
officer said: u gave such a high figure??
Indian whispered again: 1000$ for me, 1000$ for u and lets hire chinese to do it :D
Santa at Microsoft for a job interview.............
Interviewer : Which are the four versions of Java ?
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SaNTA : Mar Java, Mit Java, Lut Java, Sadke Java ............... :-D
If U Pass In Exam:
Mom: Ktni Khushi Ki Baat Hai...
Dad:Mera Beta Sher Hai...
Lover:So Sweeeet!!!
&
Friends:Kutte! Kamine! Zalil Tu Ne Itna Kb Padha be...
Crazy C.I.D Facts :
1. Daya has the world record of breaking most number of doors.
2. C.I.D bureau has 1 toyotaqualis since last 11 years.
... ...
3. In entire 20 storeyed building of C.I.D only 7 people works.
4. There is no POLICE,,C.I.D handles every case.
5. Accused person accepts his crime only after gettingslap from Daya on face.
6. None of them ever got married.
7. None of them ever got promotion, not even ACP.
8. Salunke just presses CONTROL & ALT, & gets Finger prints tested.
9. people remember a person they just saw once& give exact sketch.
10.End of episode, all criminals get Fassi.
Best lines by Dhirubhai Ambani.

You will never reach your destination if you stop & throw stones at every dog that barks..
Better keep biscuits and Move on!!!!
Drinkers Gang-Aaj tab tak piyenge jab tak wo samne wale 3 ped 6 nhi dikhte
Bar owner-bas kro kamino,samne 1 hi ped h.Ab kya jungle banaoge..:-@
BOY (on Bus Stop) : Achhi Lipstic hai
GIRL : Thanx
BOY : Beautiful Dress
GIRL : thanx
BOY : nice Jewelery,
GIRL : thanx 'bhaiya'
BOY : kamaal hai.. phir bhi Sundar nahi lag rahi ho! :P
One day, a rich dad took his son on a trip. Wanted to show him how poor someone can be. They spent time on the farm of apoor family. On the way home, dad asked, "Did you see how poor they are? What did you learn?".
Son said, "We have one dog, they have four, we have pool, they have rivers,we have lanterns at night, they have stars, we buy foods, they grow theirs, we have walls to protect us, they have friends, we have encyclopedias, they have Bible." Then they headed,"Thanks dad for showing me how poor we are."
MORAL LESSON: It's not about money that make us rich, it's about simplicity of having God in our lives.
Don't forget to share...
Sorry frnds ye status galti se post ho gaya hai, please neeche mat dekhna vaha galat salat likha hai...
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''Galat salat''
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Hit like agar dekh liya hai to :D